Conflict resolution methods

Conflict Resolution Skills

Building the Skills That Can
      Conflict Resolution Skills (Turn Conflicts into Opportunities).
Conflict is a normal part of any healthy relationship because two people can’t be expected to agree on everything, all the time. Learning how to deal with conflict rather than avoiding it is crucial.
When conflict is mismanaged, it can cause great harm to a relationship, but when handled in a respectful, positive way, conflict provides an opportunity to strengthen the bond between two people.
    By learning these skills for conflict resolution, you can keep your personal and professional relationships strong and growing.
• Understanding conflict in relationships
Conflict arises whenever people disagree over their values, motivations, perceptions, ideas, or desires. Conflicts arise from differing needs, everyone needs to feel understood, nurtured, and supported, but the ways in which these needs are met vary widely. Differing needs for feeling comfortable and safe create some of the most severe challenges in our personal and professional relationships.
The needs of both parties play important roles in the long-term success of most relationships, and each deserves respect and consideration. In personal relationships, a lack of understanding about differing needs can result in distance, arguments, and break-ups. In workplace conflicts, differing needs are often at the heart of bitter disputes, sometimes resulting in broken deals, fewer profits and lost jobs. When you can recognize the legitimacy of conflicting needs and become willing to examine them in an environment of compassionate understanding, it opens pathways to creative problem solving, team building, and improved relationships.

 • Healthy and unhealthy ways of managing and resolving conflict
         Unhealthy responses
- Inability to recognize and respond to the things that matter to the other person
- Explosive, angry, hurtful, and resentful reactions
- The withdrawal of love, resulting in rejection, isolation, shaming, and fear of abandonment
- An inability to compromise or see the other person’s side
- The fear and avoidance of conflict; the expectation of bad outcomes
        Healthy responses
- The capacity to recognize and respond to the things that matter to the other person
- Calm, non-defensive, and respectful reactions
- A belief that facing conflict head on is the best thing for both sides
- The ability to seek compromise and avoid punishing
- A readiness to forgive and forget, and to move past the conflict without holding resentments or anger

      Conflict resolution, stress, and emotions
Conflict triggers strong emotions and can lead to hurt feelings, disappointment, and discomfort. When handled in an unhealthy manner, it can cause irreparable rifts, resentments, and break-ups. But when conflict is resolved in a healthy way, it increases our understanding of one another, builds trust, and strengthens our relationship bonds.

• Nonverbal communication and conflict resolution
The most important information exchanged during conflicts and arguments is often communicated nonverbally. Nonverbal communication is conveyed by emotionally driven facial expressions, posture, gesture, pace, tone and intensity of voice. The most important communication is wordless, when people are upset, the words they use rarely convey the issues and needs at the heart of the problem. When we listen for what is felt—as well as what is said—we connect more deeply to our own needs and emotions, and to those of other people. Listening in this way also strengthens us, informs us, and makes it easier for others to hear us.

• Using humor in conflict resolution
Joy is a deceptively powerful resource. Studies show that you can surmount adversity, as long as you continue to have moments of joy. Humor plays a similar role when facing conflict. You can avoid many confrontations and resolve arguments and disagreements by communicating in a humorous way. Humor can help you say things that might otherwise be difficult to express without offending someone. However, it’s important that you laugh with the other person, not at them. When humor is used to reduce tension and anger, reframe problems, and put the situation into perspective, the conflict can actually become an opportunity for greater connection and intimacy.
Managing and Resolving Conflict

1: Make Sure Good Relationships Are a Priority
Your priority in any conflict situation should be to take control early and maintain good relationships people. Make sure that everyone understands how the conflict could be a mutual problem, and that it's important to resolve it through respectful discussion and negotiation, rather than aggression. Make it clear that it's essential for people to be able to work together happily, effectively and without resentment, so that the relationship functions effectively.

2: Separate People from Problems
At this point, it's important to let people know that conflict is rarely one-sided, and that it's best to resolve it collaboratively, by addressing the problem rather than the personalities involved. The problem is caused by neither person, but they do need to work together to resolve it.

3: Listen Carefully to Different Interests
It's important that everyone understands each party's underlying interests, needs and concerns. So, take a positive stance, keep the conversation courteous, and avoid blaming anyone. Ask for each person's viewpoint, and confirm that you need his or her cooperation to solve the problem.

4: Listen First, Talk Second
Encourage each other to listen to other people's points of view, without defending their own position. Make sure that each person has finished talking before someone else speaks, emphasize that you want to resolve the situation through discussion and negotiation, and ensure that listeners understand the problem fully by asking questions for further clarification.
Be sure to focus on work issues, and leave personalities out of the discussion. You should also encourage everyone to:
Listen with empathy, and to see the conflict from each participant's point of view.
Explain issues clearly and concisely.
Encourage people to use "I" rather than "you" statements, so that no one feels attacked.
Be clear about their feelings.
Remain flexible and adaptable.
Once you've listened to everyone's needs and concerns, outline the behaviors and actions that you will or won't tolerate, and gain the opposing parties' agreement to change.