Searching for Love

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Looking for love is hell. It’s a mindset you identify with when you forget who you are and what love is. It’s what you do when you experience the fall from grace and you fear that love has abandoned you.
You search for love outside of yourself. The searching leads you to believe that you exist outside love. You act as if you and love are two separate things. You think the purpose of the world is to find love, and then, once you find it not to lose it again. Until you change your mind about yourself, your only hope is to find someone who will overturn the judgment. So you try to create a pleasing image that hides the pain of feeling unlovable. This image knows how to be seductive, to attract attention and to win admiration, but because it’s not the real you, it does not attract real love. Therefore you keep on looking, but because you won’t change your mind about yourself, all you find is your own lovelessness. 

It’s difficult to believe in love when you are looking for love. The more you keep looking, the more unlovable you feel. Because you don’t believe you are loveable, you can't believe it’s possible for someone to love you. Eventually, you begin to doubt if love even exists. This is the worst pain of all. To believe that and to keep on living is impossible. Now you're just a shadow of your-self. You have even reached a dead end. Looking for love hasn’t worked. So now its time to try something else. And that’s a good thing.

The way out is not to seek love but to see how you are blocking love. You begin by examining what is causing you to seek for love in the first place. First, you must cast off all the loveless images of yourself that you have made. Looking for love, in its truest sense, isn’t about finding someone else; it’s about finding yourself again. You also have to be willing to drop your theories about love, to empty your mind of learned idea, to let go of old stories and to clean the door of perception so as to let love appear as it really is. Love is an inner journey home. The way to get there is to start here, right where you are now. The goal of this journey is not to find love; it is to know love. This knowledge exists in you already.