How to deal with people you don’t like

       Usually, every person should be nice, kind, considerate, mindful, generous, and more. We should all thrive in a friendly atmosphere where no one was ever cross, upset, or evil.

However, we don’t live in a perfect world. Some people drive us crazy, and we drive a few mad as well.

You might wonder whether it is possible to be fair to someone who mess you up all the time, or someone you’d rather avoid being with. You might wonder if you should learn to like every person you meet.

      Smart people make the most out of people they don’t like and here’s how they do it.

1. They admit that they are not going to like everyone.

We think that we are going to like everyone we interact with because we feel were nice people. It’s inevitable; you will encounter difficult people who oppose what you think. Recognize that conflicts or disagreements are a result of differences in values. The realization can take the emotion out of the situation. That may even result in getting along better by agreeing to disagree.

2. They bear with (not ignore or dismiss) those they don’t like.

Feeling less affectionate to someone might not be the worst thing. You need people who have different points of view and aren’t afraid to argue, \it may not be easy, but bear with them. It is often those who challenge or provoke us that prompt us to new insights and help propel the group to success. Remember, you are not perfect either, yet people still tolerate you.

3. They treat those they don’t like with politeness.

A person will quickly blend to your attitude and behavior, and will likely reflect it back to you. If you are rude to them, they will likely be rude to you too. So, remain fair, impartial, and composed.

4. They check their own expectations.

Usually, people have unrealistic expectations about others. Don’t expect others to act exactly as you would, or say the things that we might say in a certain situation. “Expecting others to do as you would do is setting yourself up for disappointment and frustration.” Adjust your expectations appropriately, this will prepare you psychologically and their behavior will not catch you by surprise.     

5. They turn inwards and focus on themselves.

Instead of thinking about how irritating that person is, focus on why you are reacting the way you are. Sometimes what we don’t like in others is frequently what we don’t like in ourselves. Pinpoint the triggers that might be complicating your feelings. You may then be able to anticipate, soften, or even alter your reaction. Remember: it’s easier to change your perceptions, attitude, and behavior than to ask someone to be a different kind of person.

6. They pause and take a deep breath.

Take a look at what sets you off and who’s pushing your buttons. That way, you can prepare for when it happens again. Pause and get a grip on your adrenaline pump and go to the intellectual part of your brain, you’ll be better able to have a conversation and to skip over the judgment. A deep breath can also help to calm you down and protect you from overreaction, thereby allowing you to proceed with a slightly more open mind and heart.

7. They voice their own needs.

If certain people constantly tick you off, calmly let them know that their manner of behavior or communication style is a problem for you. Avoid accusatory language and instead try the “When you . . . I feel . . .” formula.

8. They allow space between them.

If all else fails, smart people allow space between themselves and those they don’t like. Excuse yourself and go on your way. Keep a bit of distance, perspective, and show some empathy.