Overcoming jealousy begins with awareness.Jealousy and anger are emotional reactions to believing scenarios in your mind which allows you to see that the projected stories in your mind are not true.
Then you have this clarity, you no longer react to the scenarios that your mind imagines. By changing what you believe, you change what your imagination is projecting and you can eliminate these destructive emotional reactions. Even when there is justification for the reaction, jealousy is not the beneficial ways to deal with the situation and get what you want. The beliefs that trigger jealousy should be addressed instead of attempting to control your emotions.
The steps to permanently end jealous reactions are:
Understand the emotion of jealousy which is a combination of fear and anger. It’s a destructive and ignoble emotion and nothing good can come out of it, so recognition of its occurrence is your number one self-defense.
Deconstruct why you feel jealous in the first place. From a place of self-compassion, try to figure out why you're feeling jealous. Other motivators of feeling jealous include; a high level of insecurity, anger towards yourself and fear of abandonment or vulnerability. If you're honest with yourself, you will realize feeling jealous often occur at the same time you feel threatened, afraid or when you feel you cannot trust the other person, no matter how little basis your lack of trust has. Being compassionate about your self-assessment is an essential part of overcoming jealousy.
Take a good look at the effect your jealous behaviour has on other people. It can be easy to justify your suspicious mind by viewing the defensive responses of others as confirmation of your suspicions. People feeling squeezed by a jealous line of questioning and assumptions will also feel undermined, badgered and frustrated. Reactions that display impatience, frustration, and anger are not confirmation of guilt, they are signs that the person has reached the end of it and is defending his or her genuine, non suspicious actions.
Tackle your feelings now. Learn to question your jealousy every time that it emerges. When you begin to question what makes you jealous in the moment, you can begin to take positive steps to manage the feeling constructively, without the cloud of negative emotion that typically accompanies jealousy.
Change any false beliefs that might be fueling your jealousy.
There are often baseless beliefs that underlie reactions of jealousy. If you examine the belief, you can often eliminate the jealousy. Beliefs are changeable by choice. If you change your belief, you change the way you feel. Choose to tell yourself a belief that is nurturing and supportive, and you'll feel better.
Apologize. Before doing anything else, make the other person feel better if you've gone far enough to expose your jealous emotions around him or her. Realize that by not apologizing, you are in actual effect seeking to punish the other person for your feelings. The fact that you do apologize will help to begin to break the cycle.
Communicate your feelings. Dialog about your jealousy problem together. Sharing your true feelings with the affected person and taking it through can be a very constructive way to start mending the damage done.
Bear in mind at all times that feelings of jealousy are about you, not about the other person. Any sense that things are out of control means that you need to transfer the intensity of what you're feeling into something constructive rather than continuing to over-analyze the relationship or situation. Do something that takes you out of yourself and causes you to focus beyond the relationship or situation.
Learn from your jealousy.
Trust yourself. If you learn to trust yourself, you can radiate this trust onto others. Practicing healthy thinking must be a daily recurring action. In time, the healthier thinking process will take over the destructive ones and help you to become a whole person, resilient, capable and not prone to jealous thoughts.
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