Managing your Emotions

Emotions are valuable, and offer a bounty of benefits. Once we’re able to process and cope with them effectively, we can learn a lot about ourselves and our needs. Emotions send us important messages and help us connect with others and accomplish great things.
For many people, emotions are a scary thing. Part of the problem is that we just don’t know what to do with them. Controlling your emotions doesn't mean ignoring them. It means you recognize them and act on them when appropriate. Take control of your life by taking control of your emotions.
The strategies that work best will vary with each person, depending on your personality, physiology and other individual factors.
       Get to know yourself.  Learn to observe your own attitudes and emotional ebbs and flows. Know when you are actually being emotional and also why. Controlling your emotions isn't about pretending they are not there. If you feel jealous, angry, sad, bitter, or greedy, label exactly how you are feeling in your own mind.
        Know your emotions. There are a million different ways you can feel, human emotions have been classified into a few basics that everyone can recognize: Anxiety, joy, acceptance, fear, surprise, sadness, disgust, anger, and anticipation. Know what kinds of situations cause which emotion.
       Change your perspective.  If you want to experience fewer negative emotions to begin with, change the way you see the world. If you learn how to be optimistic and laid back, you'll find that negative emotions make fewer appearances to be reckoned with. Being optimistic is important. Instead of letting emotions take over because you pessimistically expect them to, try believing in the notion that the world is essentially good and that people get what they deserve, and that you are a good person. You may start finding that outlook changes your emotions.
       Eliminate many of the selfish core beliefs which give rise to your disturbing thoughts and negative emotions. There are many irrational ideas that repeatedly upset us. They are all false, but many of us are inclined to believe at least some of them part of the time. Eliminate many negative core beliefs about the self. Learn to avoid the cognitive distortions which make things look worse than they really are.
       Avoid negative ideas that come from feeling inadequate. Inadequacy comes from low self-esteem, the idea that you aren't good enough to do something or deserve someone. Banish inadequacy from your emotions as much as possible, and you may find that it has been keeping you from accomplishing things.
       Avoid negative ideas that come from fear. Humans can be afraid of a lot of things; we let fear take over our rational brains because we're convinced something bad is going to happen, even when we don't have evidence that it will. A single negative event turns into a never-ending pattern of defeat. You generalize not because of a pattern, but because you fear the pattern.
       Observe how others deal effectively with their emotions. We can learn so much from other people. How do other 'emotionally skilled' people deal with their frustrations and difficulties?  Their answers could actually change your life if you start to apply what you learn.

To be emotionally healthy, a person needs to: Feel safe and secure; feel they have safe territory; Regularly give and receive quality attention; Feel a sense of influence and control over their life; Feel part of a wider community; Enjoy friendship, fun, love, and intimacy with significant people; Feel a sense of status; Feel they have a recognizable role in life; Feel stretched but not stressed to avoid stagnation, boredom, and to enhance self-esteem and a sense of status in life.
When these are met adequately, we then feel our life has meaning and purpose.